Hot Topics

Theft of fishing poles and Coleman lantern, 419 W. Tanner St., 7:16 p.m.
(I think his son just took some of his buddies fishing and took his dad's fishing poles...he will bring them back!)

Juvenile problem involving juveniles on the roof of a garage playing music "very loud", 100 block West Spring Street, 6:29 p.m.
(Oh come on grandpa! The kids were just watching reruns of Mtv's Spring Break and just wanted to have a little fun)

Suspicious activity involving subjects "messing" around in a cemetery, 700 block North High Street, 8:19 p.m.
(I like how the paper quoted "messing" around...they just wanted to say that they have had sex in the cemetery)

Suspicious activity involving a complainant who said she heard someone in a hallway and then believed they might be in a closet, 600 block South Poplar Street, 1:14 a.m.
(that's what happens when you smoke pot too much)

Report of a male subject knocking on doors and yelling for a female, 400 block S. O'Brien St., 11:36 p.m.
(was he yelling for just any female?)

Report of a male passed out in the booth of a restaurant, 2600 block East Tipton St., 1:02 a.m.
( I wondered where Dana was at this time)

Criminal recklessness involving a subject who tried to run over another subject with a vehicle, 700 block West Eighth St., 3:42 p.m.
(Happens in our hood all the time too)

Report of a male grabbing a female and attempting to kiss her at a business, 1600 block East Tipton Street, 8:33 a.m.
(well she shouldn't have been dressed so sexy first thing in the morning)

Disorderly conduct involving people trying to fight, American Legion Post 89, 402 W. Second Street, 12:12 a.m.
(I need to become a member there)